Wanelo, You Never Cease to Amaze Me

It’s probably safe to say that I’ve done a fair amount of hating and bashing throughout my posts. Checking in is stupid; Pinterest is stupid; dumb Facebook chicks are stupid; if you’re from California you’re stupid; blah blah blah. I’m really actually an extremely optimistic person, shocking right? Which is why I think it’s time to talk about something I love. And you know what they say, love is a strong word. Ever heard of Wanelo?

If you don’t know what Wanelo is, it’s basically just a phenomenal website — wanelo.com — where you can find unique products up the wang. The best part about it is, it’s not a tease. It is so courteous as to provide you with a link where you can purchase your new found obsession, whereas with other sites– without saying names cough cough– actually being able to purchase something isn’t always so easy. Like, what? You’re going to show me this jaw-dropping nerdy trendy invention and not even tell me where I can get one?? Now that’s just rude.

And now for some of my latest Wanelo favorites:

Are you kidding me? That’s brilliant. This necklace could potentially be the only

thing on earth that would cause me to think, “Oh hey, I should get pregnant”.

Dear self, if you could just get some cheap beer; a paperboy cap; a large mustache;

skinny jeans; a fixed gear bike; and plastic glasses; you could then be a hipster.

Good to know. Oooor… could I just get this shirt instead? I don’t really want a mustache.

My personality has a mustache.

Okay. We all know that’s cool.

What geek invented this? Can I marry him? Is that a possibility?

I have a confession to make. I want to be a cat lady. And if I ever am,

which is highly likely, this will hang above my cat’s throne. Yes, throne.

My dog is a princess, therefore she should not get wet.

My… fish… is a princess… and… okay maybe this one isn’t very necessary.

If this doesn’t just scream good cup of hot chocolate, then I don’t know what does.

My coats want this, and I know your’s do too.

How’s that for a sneak peek of what Wanelo has to offer? It’s the perfect combination of weird, trendy, hip, comical, and stylish. I love this website so much that it’s safe to say I have tweeted my fair share of tweets mentioning @Wanelo. These series of tweets led to one magical day, the day I woke up and discovered that Wanelo started following me on twitter. If that wasn’t a self-esteem booster then I don’t know what is. Oh wait, yes I do, when they tweeted me. YES, ME, @HAIL_SNOLSON. <–cough cough, throw me a follow. Okay, the tweet might not have contained any words, but a “:)” is good enough for me. Am I a celebrity now? Feels like it. Oh no, my apologies, I should have warned you that there was about to be a big brag fest.

Anyways, do yourself a favor and check out their website. You won’t be disappointed. New trending products are available daily, so you’ll become really good at not getting anything done. Wanelo has successfully cured my Facebook addiction. Twitter, on the other hand, still holds a special place in my heart, and I hope to be mentioned in Wanelo’s future tweets.

I Will Not Cave, I Will Not

I’m baaAAaack! So there’s something we need to talk about. Technically I guess it’s just going to be me talking. Or typing. Whatever. It’s Pinterest people. This hot new trend that hipsters probably don’t take part in anymore because it has become exceptionally mainstream, is taking over the world. And I don’t like it. I don’t know why I don’t like it. Probably because deep down, I know that I would love it, and if I succumbed, it would absolutely ruin my life. It seems pretty much like heroine I guess. It is slowly but surely killing addicts all around the world, and if you just so happen to be pinning at the wrong time, it could just kill you instantly. I don’t know if any of you had “Red Ribbon Week” back in elementary school. It went a little something like this: teachers would chain you to your desk, tell you that if you didn’t wear red you would die, and force you to sign eight billion agreements all day long saying you would never do drugs. Well, at least that’s how I remember it. I think we might need to enforce an “Anti-Pinterest Week” in elementary schools. Perhaps I’ll write a strongly worded letter to the school district. Then again, that probably wouldn’t do much. Not because I don’t think I’m capable of writing a remarkably persuasive letter, but because look at how many people took “Red Ribbon Week” seriously. Monumental fail. I mean at least there’s always those extremely shocking and debatably true stories about kids starting to smoke weed in third grade. What could be worse than that? A third grade pinner?? Potentially. 

You know when you’re devoting your life to a TV series and you get that fuming feeling when you can’t talk about it with someone because they A) aren’t caught up, or B) don’t watch it at all and aren’t capable of having that conversation? I’m pretty sure that’s the feeling my friends, co-workers, family, and frenemies are having with me about discussing their latest pins on Pinterest. And to any of you reading this, I am sincerely sorry, because I know how bonkers it makes me when I can’t talk about Gossip Girl with you. Which brings me to my reasons for not caving. How could I ever make time for Gossip Girl? Or less importantly, my homework? This would be an appropriate time to share with you a tweet from one of the biggest Pinterest addicts I know. Hopefully her mom doesn’t read my blog. If so, my bad. For those of you who actually do get to class, it really kind of gets to me when I sit in the back of the room and I can see that sixteen girls are on Pinterest. Yes, sixteen, I counted one day. All of which are probably planning their wedding through Pinterest– whether they are dating someone or not is clearly irrelevant. I mean yeah I might be on Twitter, but that’s nothing new. Poor professor.

I figure the ethical thing for me to do now would be to confess that I have in fact taken a slight gander at Pinterest while writing this post in order to get ideas. Basically I just looked at a lot of hair styles that my poor thinning hair will never accomplish, some bangin hot classy outfits I’ll never be able to afford, a number of new hipster looks that are too hard to achieve, and surprisingly enough a few things that I’m shocked someone would even pin. Like, do you really want that chandelier made out of Q-Tips? Really? Aaand if I ever become weak and give in to the Pinterest apocalypse… I’ll probably take back everything I just said and I’ll post about how much I love it.

Quick Side Note

This blog isn’t cute yet 2% because I haven’t figured it out and 98% because my sister hasn’t gotten around to it yet. And mark my words it WILL be cute.

Checking In

There’s something I need to get off my chest. Checking in on Facebook. Just as a brief disclaimer: this post is not meant to offend anyone who checks in on a regular basis. If that’s what floats your boat, that’s fine. Check in! I’m just gonna hide your post on my feed. Even my dearest friends check in. I even have a screen shot to prove it, which would be a good place to start. Oh, you’re home? Wait what? Yeah, twice. And I’m just at school at school. How about those comments? “Home legit.” My eyes are so mad looking at this. My eyes hate me now because I made them look at this check-in post. Another quick disclaimer: It’s okay that I’m hating on this so bad right now because this kid is actually a good friend of mine and he totally slammed me on twitter a few weeks ago. We have a weird friendship.

On another note, there are more reasons as to why checking in is so terrible other than the example previously used. Why are people checking in so often? I’ll tell you. Chicks check in because they want everyone to see that they’re at “a totally trendy sushi bar”. It’s kinda like the idea of, “look where I am and you’re not.” No one cares that you’re eating sushi. No one cares that you’re at the Complex dancing dirty. No one. People will pretend to care though. Yeah, they’ll post a comment saying, “nice”.

Dudes check in probably because they’re at the Cowboy’s stadium. And if they’re not checking in at a sports-related location, they’re probably at Tucanos, Ruth’s Chris, or Benihana. Oh, psh sorry totally spaced… and if they’re not at any of those places they’re just at home -at home. Wow, now that I know you’re at a game or eating food… I totally want you. Naah who am I kidding I really don’t even want to know where you are. And if for some reason I do, I’m going to call you and ask you. What an outlandish thing to do right?

All in all checking in on Facebook just kind of screams “Stalk me, I’m desperate”. But what’s worse than having to look at where people are checking in? Being tagged in a check-in. A few months back I made the mistake of letting it be known that I’m not a fan of checking in. I was then absolutely pelted with notifications on a daily basis saying, “So and so checked you in at Snoasis”. Ar..Are you kidding me? I know. You’re… standing right next to me. We’re at Snoasis and I’m eating an effing snow cone. Did you want this published in the newspaper as well, or is the Facebook check-in good enough? I guess that’s what I got for being a smart one. One individual who thought he was reeeal clever was my brother-in-law. He took the liberty of tagging me in every check-in post of his. He lives in California. I clearly was not there. So, after threatening to delete him as a friend if he tags me in one more ridiculous check-in, I was tagged in “the middle of nowhere”. He was deleted not five minutes later. We haven’t been Facebook friends since due to his willingness to take bold risks, which might have something to do with him being from California– see my About page.

A Little Convincing

First off, I have a little convincing of my own to do. It would probably be best to throw this out there now, while my posts are still young. Twitter is better than Facebook. Whether you choose to believe this or not, it is a fact. If you don’t have confidence in this fact, you are probably one of those Facebook chicks who take pictures of themselves in their bathroom mirror with their cell phone. Un-pucker your lips, un-tilt your head, and take your hand off your hip because you, yes you, are the main contributing factor as to why Twitter is better than Facebook. You see the magical thing about Twitter is, you actually have to have something to say. That’s all people care about on Twitter, is what you have to say. Not what you look like holding your cell phone in your bathroom mirror. Or better yet, the dance club bathroom mirror.

On another note, I am not the only one trying to convince you of something. You name any business, and I guarantee they want you to like them on Facebook. Last week in my sales meeting at work, a literal item on the agenda was, “Like on Facebook”. And here’s my confession. I didn’t like us on Facebook. And yet, I still prompt clients to do so. But why? Is it going to increase sales? Is this their form of PR? Liking them on Facebook? That’s the best they could do? No. It’s not going to increase sales. Well maybe, forgive my opinion. Perhaps your business just has fabulous Facebook posts and they are so on fire that each person who likes you goes and purchases something the very day they like you. If this is your case, be my guest to be the exception. But for the rest of the businesses out there, Facebook users probably only liked you because there was a sign at your register that said, “‘Like’ Us On Facebook & Get 10% Off Next Purchase!” And truth be told, they probably un-liked you a week later because your posts were clogging up their news feed. Twitter on the other hand, takes a different approach. Yes, they still post things about their business, but for people who want to read them. People follow you because they are interested in what you have to offer. When I want to know about new sales or products, I follow that company on Twitter.

Regardless of your preference of social networking sites, what’s really interesting is the new approaches of advertising they provide. Getting your product out there has never been so simple. Unless your product is really crappy, then even Facebook couldn’t do it any justice– cough cough ShamWow (see spontaneous non-social-networking-related video– titled, “Paper Towels” below this post). Communication is evolving my friends, and the social media is its crusader. Aaaand I’ve officially done my fair share of hypocritical Facebook bashing. I say hypocritical because I can’t seem to get off Facebook and I don’t even attempt to alleviate my addiction. Also, I must admit that I think my profile picture of me making the duck face in the bathroom mirror at the local club is pretty freakin cute… and 13 people liked it.

Best Thing Since the ShamWow

This spontaneous non-social-networking-related video is explained in the post above. Well, briefly sort of yeah.

Oh Hey Look, A New Blog

Well well well. What do we have here. You’re probably wondering what this blog is about. Tweetbook? WTF is a Tweetbook? I don’t know. I made it up. But don’t worry we’ll find out. Throughout this bloggish journey we will thank the Lord for social media, because by reading this blog you’re probably going to figure out how to have the best Facebook page in the world. Also the do’s and don’ts of tweeting, because honey, you’re not gonna wanna tweet a don’t, or that’s a guaranteed un-follow. Well, this is my freakishly short version of an introduction, so saddle up cause new posts are coming soon.